BASICALLY BRIAN- A Weekly Column By Basically Brian

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, or goodnight (depending on what time of the day (or night) it currently is). I'm Basically Brian, and have been employed by Just Donal to share with you, his loyal fans, my thoughts, in all their weird wonderful wackiness. My column will work along the lines of my old email newsletter, which some of you may remember, if not I will explain. Approximately every week I will share with you a question so mind boggling I haven't been able to sleep, a word so wonderful I haven't been able to stop using it and any other pieces of humor that occur to me at the time so with further ado…

Basically Brian's Word Of The Week

Flay- To Flay is to strip away the skin from a body or carcass. Those of you who know me well will understand the significance of this word; otherwise you can read about it in the thrilling Basically Brian's gruesome injury story of the week.

Basically Brian's Question Of The Week

How does the man who drives the snowplow get to work in the morning?????

Subscribers to the afore mention newsletter may remember this one but no one has Successfully answered it yet! He does not live with his snowplow as many have Suggested, that would be sick. May I remind you that there is a prize for satisfactory answers , which are gratefully received at greenday_basketcase@hotmail.com.

Basically Brian's Gruesome Injury Story Of The Week

For those who don't know I work in fish shop(yes it does smell, no it doesn't bother me). On December 28th after three days of Christmas cheer it was back to work. On that fateful morning I got sick of customers requesting the skinning of slip sole, I'm a
traditionalist and like the touch only hand skinning (pardon the pun) can give, but it is a time consuming business, and I am lazy. When one customer came in looking for four of them I decided enough are enough, I'm using the machine. A Fish skinning machine consists of long serrated cylinder, which runs parallel to a blade, the cylinder rotates when activated by a foot pedal, it catches the skin, and then the blade separated the skin from there flesh, the cylinder the pulls the fish along while tarring the skin off. Each slip sole requires skinning on both sides, on the last side of the last fish something happened, I don't know what, but suddenly… I felt a bang on my hand and stopped the machine. I grab my hand with the other, afraid to look. Then peaked, there was so much blood I couldn't even tell witch hand was affected. It became clear when I saw my left index finger, on the topside from the nail to just past the knuckle
the skin hand been flayed all the was tendons, a vein running through them and a lot of blood. I went through the mandatory first aid and hospital procedures and the next day as there was no skin to stitch and no roots to aid it's growth, they grafted a full thickness section of skin from my hip. I'm fine now but for the fact I will be
forced to live my life with out of my knuckles having the skin wrinkles on it, a fact which has led me to set up a knuckle charity, so stay posted.